腹立たしい	196914	98.8%
腹だたしい	2485	1.2%
GG5: provoking; irritating; aggravating; exasperating; galling; maddening.
Other JEs much the same

Throwing away glosses on the basis of Reverso and Eijiro is a risky move. The published JEs occasionally miss a point, but in general they are rather solid.

@@ -10,0 +11 @@
+<ke_inf>&sK;</ke_inf>
@@ -19 +20 @@
-<gloss>exasperating</gloss>
+<gloss>irritating</gloss>
@@ -23,0 +25,2 @@
+<gloss>exasperating</gloss>
+<gloss>provoking</gloss>

irritating + upsetting = exasperating

"exasperating" is *extremely* common on reverso. 
https://context.reverso.net/translation/japanese-english/腹立たしい

Also appears as the #1 gloss here:
https://eow.alc.co.jp/search?q=腹立たしい

Some reverso hits for "maddening", also appears in ref above, also I just like it, since 腹立つ is "to get angry (mad)"

Replaced "irritating" with "infuriating". "irritating" doesn't appear in reverso, and seems like another case of understatement.  infuriating feels maybe a bit strong, but does have reverso examples. Pushed it to the end.

@@ -19 +19 @@
-<gloss>irritating</gloss>
+<gloss>exasperating</gloss>
@@ -21,0 +22,2 @@
+<gloss>maddening</gloss>
+<gloss>infuriating</gloss>

Google n-grams:
腹立たしい	196914
腹だたしい	2485

A bit over 1% in the n-grams.

BCCWJ

腹だたしい is a relatively common spelling. 腹立たし=349, 腹だたし=17 (around 5 %) occurrences in BCCWJ (https://shonagon.ninjal.ac.jp), Stumbled upon it in Endō Shūsaku's novel Samurai.
Also in line with a related entry "腹が立つ； 腹がたつ".

@@ -7,0 +8,3 @@
+</k_ele>
+<k_ele>
+<keb>腹だたしい</keb>