<entry id="2222970" stat="A" corpus="jmdict" type="jmdict">
<ent_corp type="jmdict">jmdict</ent_corp>
<ent_seq>2582680</ent_seq>
<k_ele>
<keb>風樹の嘆</keb>
</k_ele>
<r_ele>
<reb>ふうじゅのたん</reb>
</r_ele>
<sense>
<pos>&exp;</pos>
<pos>&n;</pos>
<gloss>regret for not appreciating one's parents when they were alive</gloss>
</sense>
<info>
<audit time="2010-09-20 15:26:15" stat="A" unap="true">
<upd_name>Scott</upd_name>
<upd_refs>gg5</upd_refs>
</audit>
<audit time="2010-09-21 00:23:19" stat="A" unap="true">
<upd_uid>rene</upd_uid>
<upd_name>Rene Malenfant</upd_name>
<upd_email>...address hidden...</upd_email>
<upd_detl>i don't think it's about "unkindness" so much as failing to fulfil one's filial duties</upd_detl>
<upd_refs>koj, daijr, daijs, meikyo have a different reading</upd_refs>
<upd_diff>@@ -8,1 +8,1 @@
-&lt;reb&gt;ふうじゅのなげし&lt;/reb&gt;
+&lt;reb&gt;ふうじゅのたん&lt;/reb&gt;
@@ -12,1 +12,1 @@
-&lt;gloss&gt;to regret one's unkindness to one's deceased parents when they were alive&lt;/gloss&gt;
+&lt;gloss&gt;regretting one's unkindness to one's deceased parents when they were alive&lt;/gloss&gt;</upd_diff>
</audit>
<audit time="2010-09-25 10:30:33" stat="A">
<upd_uid>jwb</upd_uid>
<upd_name>Jim Breen</upd_name>
<upd_email>...address hidden...</upd_email>
</audit>
<audit time="2023-02-21 14:31:17" stat="A" unap="true">
<upd_name>Brian Krznarich</upd_name>
<upd_email>...address hidden...</upd_email>
<upd_detl>Article seems to match Rene's comments from back in 2010.

Suggested [see=] is a slightly more popular-looking kotowaza listed as a related-expression in the reference article. In particular, the linked expression is more literal, and might provide some insight on the thought-process behind this expression.

I *never* know what dictionary term glossed with "filial" really means, since "filial piety" and  "filial responsibility" (at least in my experience) are not so ingrained in western culture.  So, I've gone ahead and tried for a more relatable gloss as well, but feel free to edit/drop it.  For me "properly appreciating", in the western sense, would include things like "visiting, keeping in touch with, making sure they were well cared for", etc. "Doing what you were supposed to do when they were alive, and now they're gone".  I think that's the right idea...  

If the second gloss is kept, I think there is a meaningful gap between "appreciating" and "properly appreciating", with the latter encompassing the thought "I may have done some things, but I should have done more". 

Like Rene, I think, it's probably less about "active" mistreatment, and more about passive neglect.</upd_detl>
<upd_refs>n-grams
風樹の嘆	226
時分に親はなし 337　(fragment of suggested see=kotowaza, which is otherwise too long to match the n-gram database)

Whole little writeup on just this expression, Nov. 2022
https://japanese-note.jp/fuujyu-no-tan/
「やりたくても親孝行ができない」とか「親孝行にはも遅い」ということです

風樹の嘆
https://kotobank.jp/word/%E9%A2%A8%E6%A8%B9%E3%81%AE%E5%98%86-615839
故事成語を知る辞典: 親孝行をしたいと思うときには、親はすでに亡くなっているという嘆き。

This entry is for my benefit, since *I* don't understand what "filial" really means...

https://link.springer.com/referenceworkentry/10.1007/978-981-287-080-3_45-1#:~:text=Definition,and%20meet%20a%20parent's%20needs.
Filial obligation is the obligation of children to defer to parental wishes and meet a parent’s needs. This role not only includes contact with parents, having shared living arrangements, and providing routine care, but also involves providing physical, informational, and emotional support and financial help, especially when parents reach old age. This responsibility also includes more comprehensive efforts to ensure a parent’s safety, health, emotional well-being, sociability, and continued integration in society through contact with the outside world (Schorr 1960; Caro 2014; Whyte 2004).</upd_refs>
<upd_diff>@@ -12 +12,3 @@
-&lt;gloss&gt;regretting one's unkindness to one's deceased parents when they were alive&lt;/gloss&gt;
+&lt;xref type="see" seq="2417390"&gt;孝行のしたい時分に親はなし・こうこうのしたいじぶんにおやはなし&lt;/xref&gt;
+&lt;gloss&gt;regret of not fulfilling one's filial duties to one's parents when they were still alive&lt;/gloss&gt;
+&lt;gloss&gt;regret of not properly appreciating one's parents when they were still alive&lt;/gloss&gt;</upd_diff>
</audit>
<audit time="2023-02-27 04:03:56" stat="A">
<upd_uid>jwb</upd_uid>
<upd_name>Jim Breen</upd_name>
<upd_email>...address hidden...</upd_email>
<upd_detl>Maybe this is clear enough. I don't think that xref helps.</upd_detl>
<upd_refs>GG5: regret for one's unkindness to one's parents when they were alive.</upd_refs>
<upd_diff>@@ -12,3 +12 @@
-&lt;xref type="see" seq="2417390"&gt;孝行のしたい時分に親はなし・こうこうのしたいじぶんにおやはなし&lt;/xref&gt;
-&lt;gloss&gt;regret of not fulfilling one's filial duties to one's parents when they were still alive&lt;/gloss&gt;
-&lt;gloss&gt;regret of not properly appreciating one's parents when they were still alive&lt;/gloss&gt;
+&lt;gloss&gt;regret for not appreciating one's parents when they were alive&lt;/gloss&gt;</upd_diff>
</audit>
<audit time="2023-02-27 04:16:39" stat="A">
<upd_uid>Marcus</upd_uid>
<upd_name>Marcus Richert</upd_name>
<upd_email>...address hidden...</upd_email>
<upd_diff>@@ -11,0 +12 @@
+&lt;pos&gt;&amp;n;&lt;/pos&gt;</upd_diff>
</audit>
</info>
</entry>